Out of Practice: Part 1/2

Posted on Sat Apr 11th, 2026 @ 6:24pm by Lieutenant JG Electra Drake & Lieutenant JG Elen Rell

2,576 words; about a 13 minute read

Mission: Prologue
Location: USS Guinevere

Elen Rell shifted slightly as she walked, just to adjust the long granny square cardigan she wore. Comfortable shoes. Black leggings, a top she liked, the cardigan she had finished last year and enjoyed wearing it. Hair free, but she had braided, or started to braid, bits of it. Another catch up, this time not with Connie but with Electra Drake. Sure, that happened too, it wasn't like she was in therapy so her yearly check ins happened whenever they happened. She hummed to herself and adjusted the black fingerless gloves, knitted rather than crochet. Something different. Outside the office she stopped and bit her lip for a moment before she took a breath. "Okay, don't be nervous, this is fine..." she rang the chime, rocking on her feet. She could feel the vibe of the people walking past behind her back and she wasn't even sure why there was unease in it. But she also knew people just had their own stuff to worry about...even so, should she be uneasy? Nervous? She closed her eyes, folding that little part of Betazoid inside, down and down like packing up a box. And then exhaled as it was just her in her emotions again.

"Come in," Electra called out, setting down the iced sparkling water on the table, next to the wooden hand held puzzles she'd deliberately set down for her in case she needed something for her hands. "Elen, please, come in...take a seat..."

Elen smiled as she came inside, eyes going to her, the table and then the seating. She plonked herself down with the grace of someone half-distracted by whatever the puzzle was. "How are you doing, Counsellor?" she asked, smiling as she tapped her hand to her leg for a moment. She shifted, to sit properly, before shifting a little to get more comfortable.

Lex noted the shifting as she moved to sit with her, hitching the wide legged trousers slightly so she could cross her legs comfortably. "You can call me Electra, if you prefer. I was asked if I would like to work with you, considering I have experience with neurodiversity. But if you don't feel it working, you should be honest and you can change back."

"Oh...oh!" Her eyes widened and she smiled to Lex, nodding. "Of course you do...well, yeah, I got no problem, it's not like I am knocking down Connie's door anyway. More chance meeting her at the Kiss than me wandering into her office...even if the tea is nice..." she winked, or maybe she didn't and she just made a face. She shifted a little, her hand tapping the armrest. "Happy to work with you. Well, be in a session with you..." she bit her lip for a moment, eyes softening. "How's Lucy?"

"Sleeping much better thanks to that little gadget you made her," Lex admitted with a soft chuckle. "That was remarkably kind of you."

"It just made sense, I could do it and...you know..." Elen shrugged a shoulder with a warm smile, glad to hear it. "Sleep's super-important at that age."

"It was still kind of you," Lex insisted, but with a small, gentle smile. "Do you like that? Making things for people? You did the gloves too..."

"Oh yeah, it's my love language," Elen said in a tone that said that she had been told that it was in the past and didn't disagree. "I sort of...notice things and it makes it almost impossible for me not to...you know...make something. Not to fix it, but...maybe to let people know they're not alone."

"How would you feel if people did that for you in return?" Lex asked with a small smile, pulling her notepad over to rest on her knee, unlidding her pen.

"Awkward," Elen admitted before she looked down, picking at a seam in her clothes, fingers worrying it. "I mean, I felt awkward enough when the Commodore invited me for dinner with his family. I mean, I disturbed him to be fair, I'd knitted this blanket for him and they were eating dinner and that is sort of what ended up happening and I am not entirely sure if I would have ever been invited if not for that and-" she stopped herself, realising she had sped up her talking. She grimaced almost shyly. "Yeah...awkward. I mean, I do adjust depending. I'm not always at a hundred and ten, sometimes I can...balance a bit more. Different people draw different aspects."

"Does it bother you? When you react in a way that feels different?" Lex asked softly, smiling gently as she noted the speech pattern....and how she pulled herself back from it.

"Oh, no...it's sort of expected. I'm not exactly...you know..." she gestured towards her, giving her a small smile. "I'm good at what I do. And...maybe I spend a little bit too much time making sure everyone else feels welcomed too. But...it matters. It's the quiet ones that get ignored, you know...especially on ships."

"I'm not sure there's such a thing as taking too much time to welcome someone," Lex assured with a soft chuckle, shaking her head lightly at the prospect. It showed a kind heart and a spirit of generosity. "So why don't you tell me about your work."

"Oh!" Elen laughed the redirect, not because she saw it as a bad thing but because she could talk about it all day and night. "Well, I'm the Acting Assistant Chief Engineer. Just....Acting, when we get a real one transferred in I go back to your normal engineer, fitting my rank. I...love it. Systems, warp cores...how it all interconnects."

"What do you love most about it, Elen?" Lex asked, her smile matching the other woman's as she rested her head in a hand, her elbow resting on the back of the sofa.

"I mean, where do I...." she let out a breath before she smiled, eyes sparkling with it. "It makes sense. There's basic truths in any machine that...never changes. But oh, there's so many things you can bend...push....figure out, tweak, make better..." she shifted to lean closer. "And when it all works perfectly together? When...your tweaks and what Starfleet designs just rolls with each other? The ship breathes...and keep us all alive. Also, I've always liked making things so..." she pushed some hair back from her face. "You can get lost in it a bit."

"Do you think about your work when you're off duty too?" Lex tilted her head as she considered how it might play into her hyperfocus tendencies.

"I...sometimes," Elen admitted as she looked at her, taking a deeper breath. "Sometimes, I...go down there when I shouldn't be. Do small things, just...that I need to get out. That I've been obsessing about. Other times, I distract...I do a lot with crafts," she tapped her fingers along her leg, shifting. "Or...I seek out friends. Some need encouragement."

"It sounds like you might find it difficult to rest?" Lex was careful to phrase it as a question, not wanting to make it sound like she was assuming.

"Sometimes. I go through phases," Elen said and looked at her before she gave a small smile, taking a deeper breath. "Right now I am in my high energy phase."

"What are your sleep routines like?" Lex asked softly as she made some notes over the kind of language Elen used.

"Oh...well, I try and meditate before bedtime but sometimes I end up just...tinkering on something until I get too tired," Elen said and closed her eyes, starting to counting it off on her fingers. "Change out of uniform, lock up tools, have some herbal tea...brush teeth, get in bed, lights low but not off...sounds low...warp core ideal, but I can also sleep to...white noise." She opened her eyes and looked at Lex.

Lex watched her, smiling softly for a long moment...because she had seen how little sleep Elen had seemed to have when she'd come to bring Lucy her gifts. "And....how often do you manage to do this and make it work in reality?" she finally asked.

"Oh...err..." Elen made a small face, looking very much like a child caught doing something she knew she wasn't meant to do. "Let's say....twice a week to be generous. Usually something steps in the way, be it work, thoughts or just...you know..." she shifted before she looked down. "...things..."

"Of course," Lex shook her head with understanding as she made a note of it before smiling gently to Elen. "Your brain rushes, and the less you're doing on the outside, the more it whirls on the inside. You're not built for calm, you're built for activity."

Elen chuckled, nodding as she looked at her. "I am trying though. There's people around me who...you know, are calmer. Commander Drevas, for instance..." she tugged at the sleeve of her cardigan, her fingers tracing the treble stitches on them. Her eyes went down to it, her mind racing. "Like an aura of meditation, but with a pull of...pathos..." she frowned slightly, her voice soft. "Silk laid over a sharp rock."

"So...you try and emulate that calm around you," Lex asked softly, to be sure she understood.

"More...trying to key into that vibe?" Elen looked at her before she sighed almost dramatically, shaking her head. "Doesn't...always work. But I've gotten better at sitting with silence...used to have to fill it, start talking, start making noise. I've started to see that not getting anything verbally back doesn't mean that...you're bothering someone."

"People absorb in different ways," Lex agreed with a soft chuckle at the way the other woman had put it. "It sounds like you have a lot of friends here."

"I...I do," Elen said with a small smile, looking almost shy. "There's Cressida and her wife, Alina...and I know Drevas too...and the Commodore and his family, and Jace and Vesper and Moriarty...and now Lucy. I try and..." she stopped and looked down. "I suppose I like to keep myself busy. Make sure that...people are okay."

"I think you care about people, Elen, all people," Lex replied softly but honestly, meeting her eyes for a moment. "And that is a wonderful trait, and not as common as you might think."

"Of course I care," Elen said and gestured towards her, biting her lip for a moment. "Sometimes, I feel them after all...it's...difficult to try and hide away from the world when you can feel it pressing up against your brain..."

"You'd be surprised how many people decide to pull away for the same reason," Lex replied honestly, wanting her to understand that her empathy, versus empathic power, was not passive...it was a choice she made.

"Well...if I was better at the whole Betazoid thing, maybe I wouldn't feel so exhausted some days...or too sensitive," Elen said but there was no remorse in it. More like her echoing something said to her in the past and she just shrugged it off. She studied Lex, taking a deeper breath before her eyes softened. "People feel or sound different."

Lex watched her for a long moment, repeating the words she'd just said in her mind, picking up the judgement in them. "Elen, you are not to blame for feeling exhausted or overwhelmed when you're living and working in a world that doesn't quite understand you or what you need."

Elen reached out for the puzzle, picking it up and running her hands over it, watching it for a moment. "It's only now and then," she said as she glanced at her, raising an eyebrow. "Okay, more now and...now and then...and the world's what it is. Maybe if I was more like others I'd be a Lieutenant Commander by now, or an actual Assistant Chief Engineer..." her hands moved, working on the puzzle. "But then I wouldn't be me."

"And all those people you care about wouldn't have you caring about them in the way that you do," Lex pointed out with a small but knowing smile.

"Exactly...so...I can never change," Elen said with a smile as she leant closer to her, meeting her eyes. "Or else Cressida wouldn't have someone to go dancing with when Alina needs quiet. And Drevas wouldn't have someone to comment on his ramen-building skills...the Commodore wouldn't have a blanket...Gil wouldn't have me mad science yarn at him during his shift...Vesper wouldn't have poetry in reports and Jace would...well, fair, not much different. But even so..." she sat back and looked at the puzzle, her thumb flicking over it. "I just wish sometimes it wasn't so loud to care."

"What do you mean?" Lex asked quietly, not wanting to put words in her mouth or thoughts in her head.

Elen put the puzzle down and stretched her legs before she shifted to stand, stretching properly. "I get tuned in sometimes...not to...like, mind reading, just...a person's waves, you know? And if something's off, I start obsessing...and if everyone's tense or stressed, emotions bleed...and the vibes become waves and sometimes it's like I can drown in it..."

"Ah....it becomes another thing to busy your mind," Lex nodded thoughtfully. It was curious, that intermix of DNA and neurodiversity. "Maybe we can work on some strategies, to help pull back from that obsessional loop. If you'd like to work on it."

"I mean...would be better than me crawling into a jeffries tube to cry..." Elen said with a smile before she sat down again, but this time to pull a leg close to hug. She pulled her sleeves over her hands, just to feel them against her skin. "I've tried meditation. Sort of half works...if it gets bad, I...find Jace."

Lex tilted her with something close to a grimace, or at least as close as she got; her ability to keep composed features was well known. "I....think you would need to try specific kinds of meditation. If you shut off stimulation, it invites your mind to take over."

Elen looked at her with interest, nodding at that. "Usually my meditation includes music, some tea, and enough wool around me to start a knitting retreat...does that count?"

Lex laughed softly at the way she put it. "Maybe the wool yes. Doing something with your hands might help slow your thoughts. Speaking of which, if you would like to come and see me regularly, you'd be most welcome to bring your knitting along."

"Oh thank the Martian dust," the words tumbled out of Elen's mouth with enough speed to launch a small shuttlecraft, her eyes shining with it. "Because I am about two seconds away from unravelling the cardi and then using my fingers to make something. I know it's weird, it's just always...kept me in the now, you know? Focused."

"It's not weird, it's natural for someone like you," Lex assured, but firmly, wanting her to be absolutely clear on that. "If it helps keep you focussed, why fight it."

To Be Continued...


Lt. JG Elen Rell
Engineer
USS Guinevere

Lt. JG Electra 'Lex' Drake
Counsellor
USS Guinevere

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